This guide is primarily intended for managers and directors of studies/degree programme directors. 

The most important consideration in this conversation is to ensure that the person having experienced offensive behaviour feels heard and understood, and that he/she is informed about the support available.

Create a secure framework for the dialogue

Make sure that you find a place where you can talk together in confidence without being interrupted. If possible, be prepared and updated on the matter before the meeting, so that you can give him/her your full attention. Explain how long the dialogue meeting could last, and that you, at the end of the meeting, together will assess the way forward. Stress that the conversation is confidential.

Take your outset in the experience

The employee's or the student's experience of being violated should form the basis of the dialogue. The experience of being subjected to offensive behaviour is often associated with strong emotions, e.g. insecurity, despair, anger, frustration, guilt and shame. Respect and acknowledge emotions and avoid downplaying the experience.

Allow plenty of time to listen and do not interrupt

Don’t be afraid of (long) pauses. The person reporting offensive behaviour may need to take a break or think about things before he/she continues speaking. Offensive behaviour is a sensitive topic which most people are not used to discussing. He/she may feel guilty or ashamed.

Start by asking about the experience of the situation. Then ask clarifying questions, for example:

• When did it happen (first time)?
• What happened?
• Where did it happen?
• Who was/is involved?
• What was your experience? How did you feel?
• What do you think?
• What do you think is important for me to be aware of?

Finish the meeting by agreeing on the next steps together. What are you going to do now?

For further information for managers on how to deal with enquiries about offensive behaviour, click here.